Nature is the symphony and dance of the
Universe. With trust in it’s purpose, nature
does not live in resistance to itself because it
knows it’s an extension of Creator and in the
care of Creator. Nature comes and goes with
ease, inspiration, and love – void of worry,
void of fear.
1. When you’re eating your
onion rings and zesty sauce in
Burger King’s parking lot, don’t
throw your garbage into nature.
Keep your garbage in your car.
At some point you can deposit
your refuse in a clearly marked
bin, where it will then be
deposited into nature correctly.
2. Have several pet birds and
listen to them sing as the sun
rises. Share your pot with them
by blowing smoke in their faces.
3. When you’re drinking forties,
always pour a little onto Earth
like it’s your dead homie. Make
sure you say, “A sip for you,
Earth Mother; you my homie.”
4. While getting freaky with a
new mate, make sure to ask
your new lover if he or she
recycles. Abandon coitus if your
lover confesses to recycling
“sometimes.” This person is
lying to you, and probably has
syphilis, too.
5. Engage in risky nature sports
like rock climbing or snowless
cross country skiing on shrooms
you found in the backyard.
Don’t wear protective gear. If
you get hurt, let it go. You and
the earth will become blood
brothers.
6. Start a Twitter devoted to
saving an endangered species of
bird. Meta.
7. Wear pants that are tight
enough to show off your penis
just a little. Nature likes that.
8. Suppress a boner while riding
a zebra, unless the zebra says
something like, “Oh man,
finally.”
9. Write a book about a man
who escapes from society and
watches ants in the woods. Then
in part two, he wakes up as a
cockroach.
10. Pee on a television. This is
purely symbolic.
